Monday, January 21, 2008

we made each other plenty happy

this movie may be offensive (it couples sexual innuendo with mormon art, architecture, etc.) so please watch (or dont watch) accordingly.



i tried to count the phallic and sexual symbols in this film but i lost count. followed by if this is turning into a music/dating blog clay pointed out the music in this short film is pretty sexy. i dont know if he was being sarcastic. (he said he wasnt). anyway this film might be offensive. but thats not why i posted it. its actually the ending to a long string of movies/tv programs i saw this weekend. they all had sex (and sexuality) themes. the movies, in order of how i viewed them goes as follows:



the first movie was about sex abuse trade of girls and women in a religious (mormon fundamentalist) community portraying the problems that arise in an isolated/patriarchal/ polygamous society. oh and how the first thing you do when you leave mormonism is to drink coffee. the second program was about the sex trade and how girls/women from foreign countries are brought to the US and forced into becoming strippers/prostitutes. the third program i watched was about three different transgendered individuals, their struggle with their sexual identity, and their ultimate sex change operations. the fourth, high fidelity, is about a thirty something man's unsatisfying relationships with women and his inability to commit. the fifth was about a mormon who realized he was gay, decided to remain faithful to the church, but no longer felt his homosexual feelings were a sin (i recommend watching the whole thing. if you feel like a good cry. he builds this huge house for the family he realizes he will never have). the six and last show...well you saw it. its about the conflicting sexual attitudes in a conservative religious community.

sex is a tricky thing. i mean i dont think the actual act but everything surrounding it seems complicated. from all the media i viewed this weekend sexual identity appears to be equally complicated. i cant decide if religion further complicates or clarifies the matter. in a way it does both. obviously religion can be used to facilitate sexual abuse and that is universally frowned upon. but less obvious is the negative attitudes regarding sex that arise (maybe encouraged?) because of religion. i think i understand the origin of the problem. its hard to have a message of abstinence and the sacredness of sex but also talk about sex openly and positively. its hard to have a message of traditional families are the key to salvation but its ok to be gay. hell its even harder to say that gender is eternal but you were born gay (or the wrong gender). its hard to say something is God given and natural but should ONLY be expressed if you are married. its hard to say women should be pure and chaste but are actually sexual beings with sexual impulses and capable of having orgasms (multiple). its hard to say sex is primarily for having kids (so we encourage the kind that results in babies) but its important to have sex to express love (and nothing says i care like giving a bj).

i dont know how to make to sex more positive in religion while still emphasizing its significance. because it is. significant. i dont know how religion can be more accepting of sexual identity and give people the dignity of sexual identification and labeling. i dont know how to promote positive feelings about sex while encouraging celibacy until you are married. i dont know how to say you are an adult but its somehow a bad idea to have an adult (sexually speaking) relationship. i dont know how to explain that sex should be in a healthy, committed relationship because you do form emotional attachments and having sex because you need to be accepted or are having self esteem problems or because you are really sad or any of the other many bad reasons to have sex should definitely be avoided.

these are some of the questions i dont have answers to. but i do think i figured out that "petting" (as used in chastity talks and in the strength of youth pamphlet) is just a hand job.

9 comments:

ck said...

i'm pretty sure the strength of youth handbook uses the phrase HEAVY petting. so i'm going to go ahead and interpret that as light and moderate petting are okay, no?

natali said...

i know a pretty good band named heavy petting...

brian said...

i know where you can download the heavy petting album for free.

the mormon church and sex have a pretty complicated relationship. but sex always does complicate the relationship.

natali said...

having sex and not having sex seems equally complicated to me. i have no idea what to do with that.

Meghan said...

i think that not having sex is the more complicated relationship approach. you have to deal with contradicting nature and instincts and when you can't contradict nature anymore then you have to deal with guilt. and then you end up getting married super quick so you can have guilt-free sex. and then your marriage fails because you don't really love each other you just thought you'd love the sex.

ck said...

that last comment was actually from me. one time i made up a fake email address to get rid of a boy (long story) and for some reason i was logged in under that fake email address just then.

natali said...

hmm i am actually leaning towards sex being more complicated. for the following reasons in no particular order. stds, unplanned pregnancy and its much harder to break up.

natali said...

oh and damnation.

SummerChild said...

so I've been thinking a lot about sex lately, mostly because I've been kind of dating a boy not of our faith, and had to explain to him what i could and couldn't do and why, and no, we couldn't negotiate on some things. In thinking about having this conversation, I realized that I really had to figure out for myself what my limits are and if I actually understand them. It makes sense why we have the law of chastity, and I do believe that it is good. But, the limits do tend to get really fuzzy and it is really hard to explain to someone at the age of 27 that all you can do, and have ever done, is just a bit of heavy making out.