Sunday, March 16, 2008

im not saying its an eternal truth he is a good lover

bexy and i hung out with some friends from ours from out of town (greg, nate and rob). because we are all mormon and single and over 24 the conversation naturally turned to relationships (failed), marriage, mormonism and refractory periods. greg said something that i have been thinking about lately--how day to day relationships are. before, in what i would like to call my younger, idealist years in which i thought people felt the same way about someone forever and that baggy plaid shirts were flattering on me i dont think i would have understood the day to day relationship concept without some sort of chart or visual aid. and once i understood it i wouldnt have believed it.

the problems in long term relationships (from what people tell me who are divorced and what i noticed on tv) is that people change and expectations arent met. change can be very scary. and sometimes when people change their partners get nervous and break up. change makes people very jumpy. unmet expectations are also boner killers. things rarely turn out how you expect it seems. this is what got me thinking about the day to day relationship. it seems like the most successful relationships, the ones that last (well), ironically are the ones that people view on a day to day basis. once you realize that people change and relationships change and circumstances change, the easier it is to cope with change overall and expectations are significantly reduced to a healthy level. and that makes it easier to stay in a relationship.

while i was writing this post i was watching witches of eastwick. its actually kind of an interesting movie about gender roles and drug use. my favorite part is when jack nicholson is seducing michelle pheiffer and michelle pheiffer is like are you going to seduce me? because i get pregnant really easily.

10 comments:

natali said...

hmm i realize that maybe my post was confusing. mostly after reading it. by day to day relationship i mean that you have to treat the relationship as something that changes daily and not something that will always remain the same. if only i could make a chart. but i cant. i dont have those kinds of computer skills.

Colls said...

i could whip up a chart if you want. and maybe you should have used the term "ebb and flow."

michelle said...

no worries Natali, I understood you...

natali said...

michelle so nice to see you around on the blogs. we are taking a knitting class and you should come!

michelle said...

Where will the classes be..what days, I would LOVE to learn how to knit !!! Seriously, let me know the details

Willard Forest Ranger said...

Willard likes your post. Willard talks about this kind of thing with his friends all the time. You take an interesting perspective on dealing with change.

becky said...

does willard always speak in third person?

becky said...

either way, thanks for commenting

Colls said...

colls likes the name willard because colls is a fan of footloose.

tanyamae said...

it has been a long time since i have seen footloose... however i did see the lehi roller mill from the freeway last week... and it made me think of footloose... and how cool it would be to be so into intense dance by myself in a warehouse... i know everyone has thought of this... so my thoughts are not origninal or that funny... but just thought i would share...

also i liked this post... its true... or so i have heard from people... what you say about unmet expectations...