so today i went to costco on my lunch break. there were a lot of cheese samples. there was also some kid that becky i knew back in the day (probably six or seven years ago in provo). he approached me with a baby and said:
some kid: what was your name again?
some kid: oh thats right.
natali: how are you? i see you had a baby. thats great.
some kid: i didnt have a baby. i was a part of the process but my wife actually had the baby.
natali: in my head (i just remembered how much i didnt/dont like you. i know men cant bear children. well i think i read somewhere a man had a baby once. but obviously it was a science/social experiment and not naturally occurring. why would you make such a lame joke? perhaps you just want people to really think about your sex life/acts/penis. that is probably the real motive behind that comment because humor cannot be it).
natali: anywayyyyyy.... she is a cute baby (she wasnt).
i had a flash back to six (maybe seven) years ago when he tried to date our whole apartment. he was always kissing becky on the check. he pretended it was because she was latin (she isnt)(he knew). he was just hoping she would forget how annoying he was and let him kiss her mouth. she didnt forget. then there was our other roommate (haley) who was actually interested in him. they cuddled sometimes but it never got too far. they had been cuddling the night before this very conversation:
some kid: so natali can i take you to dinner sometime?
natali: (no. what a relief i have a built in excuse) arent you interested in my roommate haley? in fact didnt you cuddle with her until 3:34 a.m. last night?
some kid: sure. but i am interested in you too.
natali: yes well about that.....
some kid: cant i read the natali and haley books at the same time?
natali: um no. you have to finish one first. we arent a library you know. you read one and return it then you can start on the second one. and even then unless you just sort of skimmed the first one its frowned upon. (i really dont know why i have to explain this to you. everyone knows this. i will probably run into you in six or seven years at costco and you will make some lame ass joke about how your wife actually had a baby and not you).
and i did.