so today i went to costco on my lunch break. there were a lot of cheese samples. there was also some kid that becky i knew back in the day (probably six or seven years ago in provo). he approached me with a baby and said:
some kid: what was your name again?
natali: natali
some kid: oh thats right.
natali: how are you? i see you had a baby. thats great.
some kid: i didnt have a baby. i was a part of the process but my wife actually had the baby.
natali: in my head (i just remembered how much i didnt/dont like you. i know men cant bear children. well i think i read somewhere a man had a baby once. but obviously it was a science/social experiment and not naturally occurring. why would you make such a lame joke? perhaps you just want people to really think about your sex life/acts/penis. that is probably the real motive behind that comment because humor cannot be it).
natali: anywayyyyyy.... she is a cute baby (she wasnt).
i had a flash back to six (maybe seven) years ago when he tried to date our whole apartment. he was always kissing becky on the check. he pretended it was because she was latin (she isnt)(he knew). he was just hoping she would forget how annoying he was and let him kiss her mouth. she didnt forget. then there was our other roommate (haley) who was actually interested in him. they cuddled sometimes but it never got too far. they had been cuddling the night before this very conversation:
some kid: so natali can i take you to dinner sometime?
natali: (no. what a relief i have a built in excuse) arent you interested in my roommate haley? in fact didnt you cuddle with her until 3:34 a.m. last night?
some kid: sure. but i am interested in you too.
natali: yes well about that.....
some kid: cant i read the natali and haley books at the same time?
natali: um no. you have to finish one first. we arent a library you know. you read one and return it then you can start on the second one. and even then unless you just sort of skimmed the first one its frowned upon. (i really dont know why i have to explain this to you. everyone knows this. i will probably run into you in six or seven years at costco and you will make some lame ass joke about how your wife actually had a baby and not you).
and i did.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
um.....you never had a roommate named Haley.....
i changed her name because she liked that guy and someday she might be embarrassed about that.
fine i am covering my own ass. i never told her about him asking me out and i probably should of.
i see. i was just confused because i really did have a roommate named hayley. also, i think you should have mentioned his full name. in case he ever googles himself. then he'll know how lame is was/is.
also, you forgot to mention the best(worst) part. immediately after the book/library metaphore where you turned him down, he called "haley" and she went over to his house and cuddled with him. poor "haley".
one time they made plans to go hiking and she thought it was a date. he came up to my room and begged me to come with. awkward.
how is it he's married again?
do you think our former roommates ever read this? i doubt it. but then again i am always surprised that anyone ever reads this.
but tami if you are reading this can we just make up already? i mean sure i choose nsync over our relationship but you were a close second.
i weighed the pros and cons and it was worth it. i mean, remember B.O. and the Old Spaghetti Factory? Is that how you spell spagetti?
it was the most reasonable decision ever made.
This person needs leniency for his lame joke. He is married. That ruins so much about a person.
Then again, he has a history of lameness, so maybe leniency isn't deserved.
Whatever. I just wanted to show that I read this blog every once in a long while.
the problem isnt that it was a bad joke. it was. its just that he is lame. i am more forgiving of bad humor than lameness.
i am glad you read it. technically you should be CONTRIBUTING to it. no pressure.
Because I am dating a girl, I currently have no insight to dating.
Makes it tough to contribute.
this isnt a singles only blog you can still contribute! i miss your posts!
Post a Comment