i better learn to like purple

in case you’re on the market for a new main squeeze (i wish people would just get over themselves and still use the phrase “main squeeze”). this’ll tell you which celebrity is your perfect match. it also gives you an address, phone number and email so you can reach said match (i’m lying)

love machine


i always wondered if i might have a subconscious crush on prince. i guess this confirms it.

prince
yes, he's short, he's freaky, and for years his name was a crazy unpronounceable symbol. still, your celebrity love match is one "sexy m.f." however, there's more to this talented pop royalty than meets the eye. he's a workaholic, a nightclub owner, a multi-instrumentalist (if you know what we mean). and he's not afraid to speak his mind (not just anyone would go around with "slave" written across his cheek). maybe he has "daddy" issues, but here's a guy not afraid to show his sensitive side. it's not just the doves that cry. ultimately, we hope you like purple because there's going to be a lot of it in your life.