Friday, June 01, 2007

ambush dating

i’m pretty sure everybody has fallen victim to the ambush date. you innocently agree to hang out with a guy and his friends in an honest attempt to be social and then you show up and BAM, there are no friends…just the guy. i’m not sure why guys do this – am i really that mean of a person that they think i won’t go out with them if they ask me? are they really that insecure? do they hope that if they don’t actually ask me out on a date that they won’t have to hold the door open for me? anyway, i thought i was getting myself into this trap this past week, but luckily, friends were actually involved – whew – saved.

here’s one good example, though. a guy found out we worked fairly close together and told me he was getting a group of people-who-work-close-together together for lunch one day, so i dumbly (and innocently, in an attempt to be social) give him my number. he calls and coordinates the entire thing – “yeah – we’re all meeting up at such and such at this time, blah blah blah.” and then, not more than half an hour before the lunch was scheduled, he calls me and leaves a message “all of the people who were coming have backed out so it may just be you and me.” now, i’d maybe buy this story if “all the people who were coming” included 2 or 3 people because it’s legit for a few people to have things come up. but when the list of lunch buddies was said to be over a dozen people, you start wondering.

anyway, i knew right then what was going on and 2 options crossed my mind. the first is to not show up, but that's hard to do when you like the restaurant and you've been planning on this for a week…so i chose option number two and called all my friends in the area to see if they could come…unfortunately, since it was so close to the time (i’m sure this was on purpose), none of them could make it, or they’d already eaten. i sucked it up, made myself look as homely as possible to help deter any attraction and arrived a few minutes late. he was already there...with a flower...he took my coat AND paid for my lunch. it was a total date and i never even agreed to it. and that, my friends, is an ambush date.

15 comments:

becky said...

oh boy...the AMBUSH date. i'm so glad you've addressed this concern. do you know what's worse? the "ambush meeting the parents". seriously.

natali said...

both have happened to me. and ambush meeting the parents is worse. i sort of like the ambush date. keeps me on my toes.

ck said...

that's so funny. i just got an ambush phone meeting with some guy in my ward. he asked me to drive him to the airport, forgot his phone in my car, and then for some unknown reason had his mom call me to tell me the phone was in my car...i wanted to tell her that her son was wierd but maybe a first meeting isn't the appropriate time for that

Jefe said...

This is a survivol tactic, most creepy guys know they're creepy deep down, they are just unwilling to admit it. Even worse they are unwilling to change, so rather than adapt to approved social behavior, instead they choose to take on different tactical manuevers that will allow them to date girls and keep up appearences with their parents who probably know that they're son (or daughter) is weird but just won't except it. So you see the refusal to agree that one is creepy is in some ways learned behavior from their parents. Don't hate the monster, hate it's creator.

Jefe said...

By the way I think Natali had an ambush date with me at stake conference today. Sorry Nat.

natali said...

it was a pretty good date dont even worry. i am sorry i didnt hug you good night after the closing prayer...

Jefe said...

I think Leland putting his hand on my leg during the opening prayer was proxy in place of the hug I should've gotten. Next time a swat on the left cheek would be good too.

ck said...

maybe sometimes the parents even raise their odd children to ambush date. if they know they'll be socially awkward, teaching them these tricky tactics (please note the amazing alliteration here) will help their child have the opportunity to date. either way, it should probably be illegal and considered highly dangerous

becky said...

i dated someone who totally ambushed me on several occasions. i go to pick him up...surprise! my parents just happen to be sitting right here and they want to meet you. i agree to stop in at a friend's bday party with him for some cake and ice cream...surprise! it's just really close friends and family and i am clearly being brought as "his girlfriend". apparently he didn't know that i would be completely turned off by that (and pissed). then his mom gave me a christmas present.

ck said...

that's pretty bad beck - at least you got a christmas present...hopefully it wasn't her fine china being passed down the generations...

becky said...

thankfully, no. also, i hope he never sees this

ck said...

yeah i pretty much hope that about everything i say on this blog...

Colls said...

this was a really good post by the way. i had a terrible ambush date at age 16 when my friends lied to me and set me up with some random guy. he asked if he could call me and i told him i didn't have a phone. natali you would have liked it.

natali said...

its true you didnt have a phone. it was so hard to get a hold of you back then...and now.

Colls said...

so maybe it's me..and not that i don't have a phone.