today i got really nervous that dating will never work for me. i always had my suspicions but now i am feeling like its turning into evidence and soon will be a scientific doctrine. one theory being thrown out there on a regular basis by mom, church leaders, dating books (i have read like 3 and skimmed 7), Dr. Phil, etc. is that you date to get to know people and then you end up in a relationship. i actually really like relationships. i dont require a boyfriend but i prefer having one. because if you have a boyfriend you dont have to date AND there is always someone to watch tv with. nothing makes me happier than those two things. and its nice to have someone to talk to and you dont have to keep explaining who the people are in your stories. oh and cuddling. i like cuddling. (but i think(know) i am hard to cuddle with. so squirmy. if you plan on cuddling with me i am just going to apologize in advance). where was i? oh yes dating. it doesnt work (for me). because i dont get it. i never felt comfortable with dating. i dont get the door opening stuff. i dont understand the paying thing. i dont like answering questions about myself. i dont like talking about my job/interests/family with people i dont know. i hate almost all dating activities EXCEPT for movies and bowling and i dont like bowling on dates. i am really awkward and self conscious most of the time. so, i really dont like dating and i dont understand how it helps me get to know anyone besides myself and how awkward i can really get. and whats more is i dont even remember the last time i had a boyfriend as a direct result of dating. so maybe all those people are wrong about it (fingers crossed).
anyway i have a date tonight. i think i might only blog on days i date.