Wednesday, June 06, 2007

i'm like a light bulb..everyone gets a turn


my friend said this to me the other day. is that a good thing? remember sticky notes and smelly markers? well they are getting married next weekend. i will then receive roommate number 67. i told my dad once that i have lived with over 50 women. he replied, "i wish i could say that." kinda creepy.
even though my dad wants to live with myriads of women, he is single. my mom is single too. (well she's techinically married to her 4th husband but those are minor details) wisdom comes with age right? therefore, i have acquired some very useful dating tips and information from my older single parental units and wanted to share with my blog family. please enjoy.
1. when you see an over weight single woman, lovingly refer to her as a "wide load"

2. invite your date over to play a little scrabble, then give them a cup of water as a treat

3. go to free community events and hit on homeless men. marry one of them if you so desire

4. date UPS drivers
5. invite your ex and his/her new partner over for christmas dinner

12 comments:

ck said...

i really thought you were saying that they're coming out with a smelly marker that deposits sticky notes...like those new sticky note pens, only it's a smelly marker??

now THAT would be a good marriage

Jefe said...

I don't get the light bulb thing, but the rest of this entry is incredible!

becky said...

yeah, how does everyone gets a turn apply to light bulbs? i'm so confused. i'm going to food and care coalition TOMORROWS

natali said...

like you are turning a light bulb? are you going to go feed and care the homeless with shane?

Jefe said...

It sorta sounds slutty, like, "that girl is like a lightbulb, everyone gets a turn!" To which my very high friend turns to me and through the smokey haze says..."you called it dude!"

Colls said...

ok you got me. so maybe the phrase should say "she's like a door knob...everyone gets a turn." (from the mega hit film cheech and chong) that's the irony of it all. i'm really not like a door knob. i'm more like a light bulb which only gets turned by someone very special like a janitor. please forgive the corn-fusion. i've been in nebraska.

but i think we've all learned that smelly markers should definitely hook up with sticky notes.

Anonymous said...

At first I thought it said "I'm like a light bulb...everyone gets turned on."

that's all.

Jefe said...

That would be better...to say, any way.

Colls said...

i try to write my posts like a "choose your own adventure" novel one might check out at the library...
always up for interpretation.

sugarcube said...

I think the lightbulb phrase might have something to do with screwing. Lightbulbs get screwed and so do you.

Colls said...

this has been a very enlightening discussion group about the meaning of lightbulbs. when i have children i will feel more comfortable talking to them now about you know what.

Jefe said...

But who gets a turn?