One of the co conspirators and I had a brief and vague conversation about the importance of a transitional person.
Who is "Transitional Person" you ask? Well let me give you a superhero scenario. Bruce Banner A.K.A. The Incredible Hulk gets mad when someone or something really pisses him off, eventually escalating to a point of anger that he can't control, turning him into the Incredible Hulk. But in order for an average height white dude to turn into a giant green monster there has to be a stage of growth. For Bruce Banner it's that moment that his body begins to pump itself full of gamma radiated adrenaline tearing his clothing to shreds (except for his purple pair of fashionably functional pants which never seem to rip above the calves, therefore allowing him to destroy buildings and vehicles and a very comfortably and with a sense of style). The transitional stage is between the identities, he's not Bruce Banner and he's not the Hulk, he's just that weird guy in the corner who is tearing his clothes apart.
(Oh, by the way just so this isn't gender biased, here is a picture of SheHulk too. This anger thing goes both ways.)
Now relate it to people. In between long or short term relationships there seems to be a moment of transition from dependence to independent. Just like the Hulk sometimes in the process of transition, innocent people get hurt.
The Hulk has no self control once he gets to the point of transition. It's a point of no return for him, he can no longer be Bruce Banner, he has to see himself through The Hulking Out process. Sometimes I think people feel the same way after they have permanently put the kibosh on a relationship, they are knowingly changing, though it's painful and it sometimes they aren't ready for it, but like The Hulk in the midst of the transitional phase, it is only temporary and at some point the giant will emerge and like The Hulk, when the transitional phase is over it will be nothing but sheer destruction.
Sometimes the transitional person says they don't mind being transitional person without knowing (consciously at least) what they are getting themselves in to. This presents itself in such scenarios as..."Yeah it's OK if we only make out." Or, "of course this is just for fun, I know this is nothing serious." But the truth is that if you find yourself as the person thinking "thank goodness, because all I want is a good make out and then a good nights sleep." That other person is more than likely saying to themselves, and excuse me for mixing metaphors... "hooked em', now all I have to do is reel them in!"
This now becomes a situation where two people are lying to each other about what the other person wants.
So because of this very brief conversation about the transitional person I have come to the simple conclusion that, transitional person doesn't deserves to have their feelings stomped upon and rampaged all over.
Like Bruce Banner, if you feel yourself turning from one phase of relationship break up to the next and you are looking for that special "transitional" someone, you may want to think twice about what you say or do...You could end up looking like the monster who destroyed someones heart.