Thursday, April 17, 2008

a kinder, gentler vampirism

today i saw my friend cicada in the target parking lot. i had just barely answered my mom's phone call in an attempt to try and fulfill my better daughter goal which includes sometimes answering their calls. the conversation had gotten this far:

mom: please come visit so we can see you.
me: i just want to go home.
mom: please.
me: no thanks.
mom: pleassssse.
me: oh gotta go i see cicada.

at which point cicada pointed out there was bird shit in my hair. gross. cicada then asked if i was trying to send her brother love messages in my post title...and maybe this one. anyway i said no. maybe. no. he doesnt read it right? because this one could make things awkward between us. but whatever. i like him he can get over it.

last time he was in town we were in a coffee shop discussing the word "love" and saying it in relationships. he doesnt like saying the word. i probably have a higher comfort level than most but i dont really throw it around. i find myself in the minority in that i believe strongly that 1) it shouldnt matter if the other person says/or feels it back and 2) a boy shouldnt have to say it first. i have never quite understood why either of those things mattered. because if you love someone it doesnt change things if they love you back or not. love seems like one of those emotions that isnt contingent on what someone else feels. and who says it first shouldnt be dictated by gender. i have a suspicion that people started encouraging women to wait until men said the word because men should be in control of the relationship and the direction that it takes while women take a more submissive, passive role. but i dont know.

anyway. this was sort of how the conversation went.

richie: who really likes saying i love you.
me: but it doesnt really matter right. if you feel it you should say it.
richie: i just dont like saying it.
me: but its always nice to hear. or its generally nice to hear.
richie: i dont even think i know what love means.
me: whatever. you just need to get comfortable with the word. lets practice. tell me you love me.
richie: (longish pause) nat thats just really weird.
me: its fine just say it. come on. say it.
richie: (sipping his coffee nervously and squirming) no.

my love therapy totally failed. and how long was that bird shit in my hair? can i get a disease from that? i washed my hair 6 times using every brand of shampoo i have twice.

3 comments:

becky said...

i think (if we're honest) it could have been in your hair for like three days

natali said...

i appreciate your honesty. but i had washed it just that morning.

Colls said...

a bird poooed on my arm once. the next morning my arm was significantly softer. you might want to give the exfoliating potential a chance.