so i have been trying to get my friend cicada to guest blog for sometime. i think she said she would for sometime. at this point i am just going to take posts from her blog and guest post for her. i am not sure if that is illegal but i got permission from cicada and polly so i figure i am covered. anyway i think this post is probably about beer and breaking up.
I have a friend. We'll call her Polly.
Polly is one of my favorite people. She is kind, smart, pretty, friendly, fun, and dresses well. Really, it's a winning combination. If I were a guy, I'd date her.
Apparently not all guys think the way I think guys should think.
When I asked Polly about the guy she's been dating over the past month or so, she told me that they broke things off this weekend. I asked why. She said that he came over to visit her one evening and asked her where she thought things were going. She thought this was going to be a "good talk." Then he said that he had some concerns about her.
1) She's vain.
First of all, Polly is not what I would call a vain person. She is certainly pretty, and she does a great job of staying in shape and wearing fantastic clothes. But she's very down-to-earth. When she shared his first point with me, she said, "I only shop sales!!" She also pointed out that this conversation took place while she was wearing shorts and a sweatshirt. She also said that on their first date, when he was talking about what he valued in women, he mentioned that his wife had to be beautiful. I don't think that you can be more beautiful and down-to-earth than Polly. This guy is crazy. (And I'm glad that the craziness came out this early so that they could break things off!)
2) She has a low standard for the company she keeps.
Polly is the only active LDS member of her family. A lot of her friends aren't members of the church. One thing that has always impressed me about Polly is her ability to accept people as they are. I think that it's admirable that she doesn't pass judgment on others just because they make different choices than she does. She doesn't let their actions influence her, either. She honors her beliefs. She also wants to date good members of the church and marry someone who has the same beliefs and lifestyle that she does. That sounds pretty grounded to me. This guy indicated that she should not allow anyone to practice anything that is not in line with her beliefs in front of her, and gave the example that if he is in a bar, he expects everyone to refrain from swearing and expects the bartender to not offer him any alcoholic beverage because the bartender needs to respect his beliefs.
I may add here that this guy is a beer delivery man. So while he's judging Polly for associating with people who drink, he's stocking the city with alcohol.
3) She works too much.
Polly works a full time job. She also does some freelance reporting on the side. In addition to that, she teaches a dance class and does volunteer work. To me, that all looks impressive. It shows an ability to manage time well (and since she's so happy all the time, you know that she's got some good balance in her life). To him, this kind of work ethic, initiative, and income is too much. And I guess in this point I must concede. I totally understand how a beer deliverer would be threatened by her accomplishments and success.
After bringing up all these issues, Polly said that she'd be willing to go 50-50 with him and try to reach a compromise (that may be Polly's only mistake in this whole thing because in my opinion, she should have kicked him out on the curb after he brought up his three concerns). He told her, "Your faults are my mountains and I will die on those mountains before I will ever compromise."
We can only hope that he finds some mountains to die on.
14 comments:
her first sign should have been when he asked her how she thought things were going. this is always a trick. i have had so many friends who ask this question so the person they are dating can go on and on about how great they are and things are etc just so they can say i dont feel the same way. its so mean. but kind of funny.
this guy obviously wants someone who he feels is far far beneath him. good luck, buddy. i don't think there is anyone much lower.
hard to tell. i mean my guess is he wanted to break up for reasons not related to her at all.
although sometimes at night when i cant sleep i think your faults are my mountains and i will die on those mountains before i compromise is probably the best break up line i have heard in a long time.
i think he may had tried to modify the following BYU honor code motto of i would rather die than cross that chalk line if i gave my word i wouldnt. how does that saying go? i think it was the reason i felt good about never following the honor code in all my seven years at byu. i mean thats just silly reasoning.
i'm not sure i understand the mountain line. is he saying he'd die (spiritually?) if they continued their relationship? is he saying that his fault are like mountains and he'll never be able to love someone unconditionally? is he saying he'd rather die than compromise? i guess i don't get why her faults are his mountains. just don't go in the mountains, then you never have to worry about dying up there. in other words, get over yourself.
but i agree with natali that he probably broke it off for other reasons like insecurity and the need to feel like he's the best and most righteous person in ever situation he finds himself in or something like that.
truth be told i am always nervous about dying in the mountains. which may be a secondary reason as to why i never camp.
some guys are leg guys, others prefer mountains.
mountains are boobs right?
Yeah, I've been thinking this guy's a jackass since I read it on Cicada's blog.
I don't understand how some people end up in relationships in the first place.
he must die a little each day as he drops off each case of pbr. his sacrifice is so admirable. if only i could be as noble as him.
for as self-righteous as he is, he would've made a crappy pioneer if he can't cross any mountains. Best to leave him behind where he can one day find a girl with no mountains and no personality. Sounds like that is what he really wants.
dude--what is polly's number?
That's crazy! The Spanish translation for 'your faults are my mountains and i will die on those mountains before i compromise' is an idiom which means:
[You aren't my mother, so i can never really love you and i am pretty sure i'm gay and it's all because i haven't been able to reconcile my momma complex].
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