survivor

so i have this anxiety problem that involves me having some irrational fear surrounding people in my life getting hurt. for example, there was a horrible and tragic shooting in downtown slc. i started thinking about how random that is. and then i wonder what if someone i know was there. and then i think what if that one boy i like was there. and then i think he might have been he likes movies. and then i remember he has the gift certificates to the Regency. and its a reasonable distance from his house. so then i think i will just call to find out (if he is alive) how his night went. so i call and tell him to call me. he doesnt. and then i think i will write him a text saying "hey i know you hate shopping but just let me know you are ok". still nothing. i start to think a couple hours later that i am reasonably sure he is the victim of a random act of violence. and then i got this this text "i didn't die baby."