recent entries to this blog have touched on the prevalence of idealistic dating images and the disconnect with our actual experiences dating. nat looked at a kind of generational gap in models of dating while lee commented on the near impossibility of meaningful romantic experiences while being bombarded by unrealistic medial representations of romance. with these impossible expectations about dating comes a fetishization of dating which conveniently ties all romantic experiences back into market place; you better buy a lot of shit if you want to romance someone.
so, all our dating experiences are bound to fail.
what do we do? reject these romantic images while trying to create and adopt pragmatic models of dating and romance? good luck.
lately i've been thinking i just need to accept all this bs. but accept only the most extreme idealizations and take these idealizations even further. in other words, our dates should be more like talking heads' records. especially fear of music. the category of appropriate romantic gestures should be widened to include the most non-romantic items. next time you go on a date, pack the date with mementos to be given to your dating partner throughout before and after the date: polaroid pictures of every activity, gift baskets of receipts, bubble gum, newspaper clippings, homemade drawings of national traumatic events (like the kennedy assassination), weather forecasts, junk mail and paperclips. pretty soon every gesture within (and maybe even without) the dating framework becomes loaded with romantic sentiment. at the same time, all these gestures become meaningless sense everything is romantic. everything becomes a parody of a parody of a parody of romance.
don't look for meaningful relationships growing out of these emerging dating models. maybe it's a possibility; maybe meaningful relationships are in fact an idealization. either way, at least your dating experiences will be a little more interesting.
as for an example of romantic comedies taking romantic notions to absurd heights, check out preston sturges. look here for a clip from the miracle at morgan's creek. that's a good one. but so is unfaithfully yours, palm beach story and the lady eve.