Monday, March 19, 2007

i'm taking this dating blog serious, dead serious

i've had a difficult time coming up with material to post here. i'm pretty down on dates. i'd rather have dick cheney shoot me in the face with a shotgun than go on a date. so i feel pretty limited in personal experiences about dating i could share. while this blog seems to be broadening the definition of dating, i'm still trying to negotiate what does and doesn't constitute a dating experience. maybe i could post about people i know who date. except i only pretend to listen whenever anyone tells me some story about a date. instead i just try and imagine what utah looked like back when there was only lake bonneville.

i'm beginning to feel like lake boneville was the only women for me.

so, in the interest of this blog, i decided to join an online dating service. my first thought was hannidate -- a dating service for single fans of sean hannity to meet (and fall in love with) other single fans of sean hannity. while i'm not a fan of sean hannity, i was pleasantly surprised to see an option for homosexuals to find their hannimatch. but then i saw you had to fill out some kind of legal release form.

my next idea was to fill out a personality profile on eharmony to see how well the dating experts over there could match me up with my soul-mate. i was pretty skeptical. soul-mates? do people still believe in that stuff? i filled out the personality profile which mostly consisted of questions about my religious preference (which is severly limited, they didn't have a box for raised mormon, served a mission, turned agnostic, but plagued with questions about the nature of god and how this god would want me to live my life), how often i smoke, if i care if my match has kinds or not (i didn't), if i like "the outdoors" (i don't), how important sexual compatibility is (how can you determine who is and isn't sexually compatible with an online questioner that only asks you if you think of yourself as sensual or not?) and whether i consider myself shy (i do). then i checked out my matches. i had seven possible matches in the us, except none of them were matches. one girl loved riding her harley, one girl's favorite author was anne rice and one girl loved the outdoors (after i specifically said i didn't like the outdoors). i think this eharmony thing is a total scam. it's 29.95 a month and these are my best matches? and eharmony refuses to try and "match" homosexuals.

7 comments:

emily said...

"lake boneville" is such a funny freudian typo

becky said...

this post has undertones of you coming out.

also, i believe in sould mates, but not in the way a lot of people do. like, i think natali and i might be sould mates. i don't think soul mates has to be a romantic type of thing.

punk rock girl said...

i think we are soul mates as well. or i am half in love with you so hard to tell. anyway, my point is is that you love the outdoors and camping and that kind of shit and i hate it. and it doesnt affect our soul mate status at all. e harmony just knows. its science.

brian said...

how come they can't apply their "science" to homosexuals?

my real problem with soulmates is i don't think i believe that humans have souls.

becky said...

well i guess that would definitely rule out soulmates. natali thinks elephants have souls. does that mean your soulmate could be an elephant natali?

punk rock girl said...

dammit look in their eyes you can just tell. hello eyes are the window to the soul. i am not making that up. its more science. or was it a saying... anyway, i am reasonably sure e-harmony is a christian based dating service which is why they probably dont use their science on homosexuals. thats just my guess. but i am right.

Colls said...

eharmony has always been a scam. i like to use craig's list or ebay to meet people. i met a tender and loving troll on ebay.