Monday, May 07, 2007

Revenge

I have a friend (we’ll call him james (I couldn’t for the life of me remember what jim was short for the other day. I kept thinking jimothy) who’s gone out with a girl (we’ll call her lady) a couple of times and decided she wasn’t the girl for him. She, however, was convinced that she was meant to be his cuddle muffin (well, either that or she just didn’t want to face the rejection).

They went out to ice cream and he broke the news about not wanting to have her babies. This upset her – so much that when he left for a second, she actually poured nail polish remover into his ice cream! Now in her defense, you would think one would notice that their ice cream tastes a little bit like rubbing alcohol, but james likes ice cream – you can’t blame the guy – so he finished it off and then took her home…and then took himself to the emergency room an hour later on account of he had been poisoned (doesn’t this sound like a csi episode??). luckily, he lived to tell the story. Unluckily, he’ll probably have traces of nail polish remover in his body forever and if medical breakthroughs someday show that lining your stomach with nail polish is the answer for living forever, I don’t think he’ll make it

8 comments:

sugarcube said...

crazy ho

ck said...

i even feel like that's a nice way to say it

punk rock girl said...

i dont know. she is just being honest about her feelings. in a dishonest way.

Colls said...

why would she have nail polish remover in her purse, or perhaps in her back pocket? i want to confess to my blog family that i once spit in my boyfriend's lemonade when he went to the restroom. i felt really good about it.

Jefe said...

I don't know, I mean that is crazy but

1- He shoudl know by now the kind of girls he is attracted to, and by this stage in his life he should have started building up a tolerance to all sorts of poisons.

2- What was he doing breaking up with someone over Ice Cream? I mean you don't want to associate ice cream with break ups, you want to associate ice cream with swimming, summer afternoons, puppys and things like that. The best way to break up with someone is at an art museum, because if they start throwing things they get arrested and you don't have to take them home.

natali said...

i sort of spit in his lemonade too.

ck said...

I definitely agree jefe – the ice cream breakup is a little lame. It’s almost like you’re cushioning the fall because even though you just stomped on her heart and ate her feelings for breakfast, at least she gets something tasty out of it. The thing boys don’t think about in this attempt to “let a girl down gently” is, treating a girl who’s about to have a crappy night to ice cream is like treating an alcoholic to a free drink – they’re both going to go home with that taste in their mouths and end up gorging themselves for the next week. Then she’ll probably clog her arteries and end up with major health problems all thanks to you trying to have an amiable breakup.

But at the same time, I would love to have an ice cream breakup because, hey, free ice cream!

Jefe said...

Ice cream make outs...totally different story.